The Intimacy Pitfall, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex brings immense meaning and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are attracted to extremely hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel extremely near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, closeness, wellness, and love .

However when issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize Web Site by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They probably wouldn't confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that many of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in urbane locations, sex is easily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, encourages sex. Many gay men desire to learn from the starting if a prospective partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North includes, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow over time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with typical sense. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, values, and objectives -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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